perfect in weakness, im only perfect in YOUR strength alone

lyrics from flyleaf pretty much my theme for the week hopefully my entire life. i can't take the hope in things other than HIM anymore...placing my trust in others in myself in my own means of being 'better' it dosen't work.

i am to a point where i get fustrated with myself because i do everything which shouldn't happen. there are no real words for this, i just know that there comes a point where you realize YOUR weakness is where GOD works and only in HIS strength/ your weakness-my weakness can HE really move outside of this box i have put HIM in. i am starting to realize in my brokeness and in my hurt my unaddressed pain and guilt and bitterness that i have not left room for GOD i have not handed everything over. 

i know HE is gracious, and forgiving, its time i addressed everything-everything leaving nothing behind-free from it...running the other way as i leave it as his feet..as i let HIM release me...only to embrace HIM

excerpt from my head::

perfect in the weakness that is my own humaness, my own selfishness, bitter pain, boasting sadness, perfect in sin-in overwhelming ignorance because of HIM 

im only perfect in HIS strength, HIS glory which can only shine through my weakness, which can only shine thorugh my sin, the abscence of HIM leaves me destroyed, fending, and falling of the cliff

fully alive in my weakness, my world ashamed weakness because HE moves, HE moves, HE is moving now

feel HIM taking hold of the weakness making me perfect

"praise GOD through whom all blessings flow"

tasha