Remember spring swaps snow for leaves...

So much has happened in the past week, but I am def. blogging with a specific agenda.

I chatted with someone while I was at SHIP, and this is the list I made while I was up one night on things that get annoying. List is titled: "Let us break the mold of habit" sub-titled the things I think, that aren't true, lies against Truth.

Let Us Break The Mold of Habit
The Things That Aren't True,
Lies Against Truth

[]I must make others proud
[]People can't be mad at me or dislike me
[]I must take on the standards of the world for success
[]I must be relevant at all costs
[]God calls me only to do hard, inconvenient things

and other thoughts turned into questions were:

{}How do I love God, and others with my whole being?
{}Why am I not letting God renew my mind?
{}Why am I not living simply?

These were my thoughts over the past few days, I sat down with a good friend of mine and just chatted about her past is effecting her view on God, essentially holding her back. Thankfully, I feel like my past doesn't do this-but chatting with her we talked through what it meant to be renewed. When the Bible talks about loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind...we need to commit and strive for all these things. Not letting our past experiences box [GOD]. I don't know...just something to ponder.

/Growing up without a father, my perceptions of God were tarnished, in a sense that although He seemed cool He seemed inconsistent. Not Truth just the experiences I grew up with. I mean, once I heard the gospel message clearly my past only by the Grace of God seemed to evaporate. God showed up so clearly, and real, and loving. Anywho, my friend has issues with her dad too.He was around, but was abusive, and well she started to try to make him happy to please him so she wouldn't get hurt, and to this day he never seems to be satisfied with what she does. It is a cycle her dad's dad did it as well BUT not she constantly is looking for that approval she is seeking from God, but instead of accepting what has already been given she is trying to earn not only her dad's approval BUT God's approval too.

/Thinking about this I realized this is something I do. Thinking reading my Bible today will somehow make God more proud of me then when I woke up, or God won't be proud or love me unless I am always doing something good, and when I sin God is really disappointed in me, and begins to love me less.

/The question is when can I/we get it through our thick skulls that God loves us? Notice that the line ends at us. God love us. He loves us. Despite us. God uses us. Despite us. There are things that are pleasing to God don't get me wrong. It's when we begin to seek approval not only from God, but from others that we get ourselves into the ongoing circle of nonsense. Woooo. That was a little long winded. Something to think about though.

It's funny that no matter how often you hear the Truth, it still needs to be heard. I think I am done.